Interview 3 - Emma Trueick

0:01 · Speaker 1 We've been saying over these past few weeks just that life is made-up of different seasons. This series is called Story Bearers in Every Season. And today we're going to look a bit about what When Longing Meets Grace looks like, is kind of like the way we've framed it. And as we've been saying, as we've gone through the last couple of weeks, life is kind of made-up of different seasons, some seasons that are joyful, some that are difficult and unexpected, and some seasons where we find ourselves waiting, waiting for answers, waiting for change, waiting for God to move. And the reality is that we all carry longings. And that's something we're going to dig into a wee bit more this morning. Things we hope for. things we pray for, things we imagine will bring fulfillment and meaning to our lives.

0:57 · Speaker 1 And sometimes those dreams and hopes and aspirations are realized, and sometimes, well, they take a wee bit longer than we would like. And then sometimes the waiting itself is difficult, but so often it is in the waiting that God does his deepest and most meaningful work in our life as he shapes us. I really loved last week, as Al shared, with us during his leading, how sometimes Jesus wants to take us deeper into the storm with him. It's quite a powerful thought, resonated with me during the week. Just this idea of how we experience storms in our life, they're all different, but often those storms give us this greater realization of God's presence, his faithfulness, and a sustaining barn. This morning we're going to hear another story, a real story of God's faithfulness. And it's a story of longing, of disappointment, of hope and surrender. But ultimately it's a story of discovering that our identity is not found in what we have or don't have, but rather it is ultimately found in Christ.

2:06 · Speaker 1 And so why don't you just Welcome Emma, as she joins me, to share a little bit of her journey with us now. Give her a warm welcome. Normally when I sit down with Emma, it's in Starbucks, and she always has something cool to drink, and I like a nice roast Americano.

2:31 · Speaker 2 Ice latte is my beverage of choice. Thank you.

2:34 · Speaker 1 This isn't quite the same as a glass of water, but... It's not. It'll suffice. Emma, we're really delighted that you've been willing to come and to share a bit of your story with us. I know this is the second time round. It is. But can you maybe just introduce yourself a little bit and share where we're going? What direction are we heading in this morning?

2:56 · Speaker 2 So my name is Emma. For those of you that don't know me, I am 43. I work in film PR. And yes, this morning I am going to be sharing about my journey and my walk with God through singleness. Yeah. That's all I'm going with, because we'll get into it. That's okay.

3:19 · Speaker 2 No pressure, don't do pressure.

3:20 · Speaker 1 So when you were younger, Emma, how did you imagine life would look like? What were some of the hopes and dreams that you carried about the future?

3:30 · Speaker 2 Well, all I'd ever wanted was to get married. And My mum and dad were at first service, so they'll be sparing the embarrassment this afternoon for second service. But my mum is one of four and my dad is one of four. And I've always wanted a big family, so therefore I always wanted four kids. And I thought that's what would happen. And I spent so much time watching everyone else get married. I was at a wedding yesterday, another wedding yesterday. Owen Shearer got married yesterday.

4:00 · Speaker 2 And I think today I think I've been to over about 60 weddings. Wow. which is like I have too many friends, too many people in my life, to be honest. So yes, and I've spent so much time before I was 33, because that's when things changed. And I spent so much time looking through the Bible of there must be an answer as to where a man is coming for me. And then looking back now, everything that I wanted in marriage and everything I wanted from that relationship was really all about what I was going to get out of it and what God was going to give me out of it. And I remember sharing this at home group one time whenever I was sharing my story. And one thing that I really most look forward to,

4:50 · Speaker 2 I hate sharing this but I love sharing it too, was the thought of walking into Glen Abbey, being here 20 years, walking into Glen Abbey with a man on my arm, everybody turned around going, wow, who's that guy with emetric? That was the expectation and that was what I wanted. But yeah.

5:10 · Speaker 1 So you spoke a wee bit about the difficulties, the challenges. You've given us a little bit of a taster. Can you maybe just talk about the season when disappointment came really real for you and what that looked like?

5:23 · Speaker 2 Yeah, sure. So the disappointment season came with my falling out with God and falling out with God quite spectacularly. And I was really angry at God for not understanding how I was feeling in my singleness. I was fed up with going to other people's weddings. Everyone else around me was getting married and I had just had absolutely enough. And God and I were done because at the end of the day, God wasn't coming through for me. I'd asked him to time and time and time again. I'd searched him for answers and God was not coming through for me.

6:02 · Speaker 2 And we'll see a wee bit later how I talk about being a champion of marriage and a champion of singleness. And you know, but one of the things that I definitely feel that God has taught me over the last 8, nine years since things have changed is that as a body of believers, I do believe that we've got a We've got to kind of change the narrative on how we address marriage and singleness. Because if we believe as a body of believers that comparison is the thief of joy, and we're told so much in the Bible how envy destroys our soul, how it distracts us from God, you know, I think we've got to stop comparing singleness and marriage. And let's try and consciously just make a better decision to actually walk together, to not try and give helpful advice, but just to listen to each other and to walk with each other. Because at the end of the day, none of us walk in each other's shoes. But we're here as a body of believers and we want to walk and journey together.

7:06 · Speaker 1 And so was there a point in your kind of frustration and anger that you felt yourself pulling away from God because of your unanswered prayers?

7:15 · Speaker 2 Yes. It was quite a spectacular experience. I was actually at Whitewell and I was at a Carrie Job concert. And anybody that knows me knows that I love worship and I love spending time, just like 2 hours of worship, engaging with God, just having that time to kind of drop everything else and really get into it. But that night there was just a full blockage. I couldn't. couldn't switch on, couldn't spend any time with God, couldn't get my brain out of the mindset of, God, I really want to worship you here, but yet I am so angry at you. And it was literally a moment where I totally just threw my toys out of the pram at God.

8:02 · Speaker 2 And I remember, I'm so glad that the music was as loud as it was, because I remember like yelling at God, right, God, do you know what? If you don't have a man for me, then I'm deciding that you're not enough. I'm going to go and do this by myself and you and I are done. And do you know what, I just want to say one thing in here about anger. You know, for so long I've always kind of felt it's wrong to be angry at God because of who God is. However, what I've learned through my own journey and my own process is that if we think we can't come to God in anger with whatever circumstance it is, then we underestimate how awesome God is and just how much God can carry each one of us. So don't ever be afraid to come to God with your anger because he expects us to come to him with everything and that means our anger as well. And I just felt such freedom in doing that, so I did.

9:01 · Speaker 2 And I kept coming to church, kept coming to see my friends, but I'd stepped away from doing youth and stepped away from doing home group and I just didn't engage. And it was a whole year of, and I think one of my friends had said to me one time, it's like the light has just gone out behind your eyes. And I remember sitting in this church, I can't remember a thing that was taught that year. And I remember standing in church so many times and just being so disengaged from the worship. So, I mean, I did, I was just, yeah, there was nothing for a whole year for me.

9:37 · Speaker 1 And then you mentioned about sharing with your mum and dad how you were feeling.

9:41 · Speaker 2 Oh, yes. Oh, I mean, the hardest. Yeah, I remember going for dinner with my mum and dad and my mum and dad, just like in our family, we've been brought up in church and it's lovely that my mum and dad always kind of like come to me. It's like, right, let's pray together and all this kind of stuff. And having that conversation where I literally said to mum and dad, I don't know if I'm A Christian anymore. I think it was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had to have with them. Yeah.

10:07 · Speaker 1 So as God often does, he has a way of pursuing us.

10:12 · Speaker 2 Yes, he does.

10:13 · Speaker 1 He's a way of breaking into our circumstances in unexpected ways. Do you want to share a little bit about the turning point and what happened?

10:21 · Speaker 2 Sometimes God's sense of humour, we just don't appreciate it. But you know, to come from this place, especially looking back now and as I prepare for it, you know, in my anger and the epic toddler tantrum, the way I kind of envisage it, it's like being in a supermarket with your toddler on the reins. And I just, and looking back now, I know that God never had let me go. I didn't want anything to do with him and I was really, really kicking up a fuss, but I knew God had never really let me go. And the hilarious thing is, it's like whenever it comes to the fact that this whole journey for me, so much of it has been around singleness. And nothing was reaching me that year. Friends having conversations, being here, prayers, worship, everything. Nothing was getting my attention.

11:14 · Speaker 2 But then God decided, in his funny way that he does, to perform a complete miracle. And he brought me back to him through a talk on marriage. So he did, which I think at that point, if I hadn't been responsive, I would have been, are you serious? Seriously. But it was whenever we were doing the Children of Light series and we were going through Ephesians and Chris was speaking that morning on Ephesians 5. And I remember even in the car on the way here that morning, I remember thinking, do you know what? It doesn't matter. I've gotten used to kind of brushing off whatever is said or not even listening.

11:57 · Speaker 2 And I mean, that sermon broke me. It really, really did. I mean, my walls of Jericho came down that day whenever we went through that sermon and one of the quotes that still rings in my head that Chris said that day was, we are not going to find true fulfilment in marriage when we are simply seeking our own fulfilment through it. We are only going to find that true fulfilment and true happiness when we give up the pursuit of our own and instead pursue the growth, the holiness, the fulfillment and the beauty of the other person in Christ. And when I heard that, I mean, that broke everything in me, because in that moment, what I felt God saying very clearly to me was, you have a heart's desire for marriage that I have given you, and you have a heart's desire for marriage, and I've given you the capacity to love someone like this. but it always has to be me first. You always have to put me first, is what God was saying very clearly. And I remember him saying too that, you know, I'm going to help you understand this deep desire of your heart.

13:13 · Speaker 2 So let's go on a journey, but you also have to trust me with what the ending looks like. Yeah. And yeah.

13:22 · Speaker 1 Can I have a little bit more about what God was teaching you and has taught you through all of that?

13:28 · Speaker 2 Yes, I think one of the big things that God has taught me over the last number of years since that happened is the fact that we all have difficult circumstances to go through in life, but there is also so much joy. So much joy to be had with God in every circumstance. And my singleness has been so incredibly precious to me. And one of the things that at times we can talk about with singleness is the fact that you have time. You have more time. Anybody who knows me knows I do not have time. Time is not something I have an awful lot of at times because my job is very high-powered and I can be away for work an awful lot, So I feel I have less time more now than I've ever had, which is a good thing too. But I also feel that in my singleness and not being with someone, I don't have someone else to consider along the journey.

14:27 · Speaker 2 But I think that what that has granted me is not necessarily time, but space. It has granted me space and I feel like God has taken me on a journey where I've just learned so, much about who I am in Him. And that has been an absolute blessing. You know, I've also had, you know, I've walked with lots and lots of friends. who have gone through heartache in relationships. Now, I've never dated, I've always been single, I've never had a relationship. And one of the things that I truly believe that has been a real blessing in this is the fact that having never had that, I truly believe that God has protected my heart from those hurts. You know, and that, honestly, like, that is a real beautiful thing.

15:23 · Speaker 2 It really is and I feel so blessed and privileged that I have not had that experience. Now I have hurt for my friends and I've grieved for my friends who have walked through that. And then there's times too whenever I'm walking those journeys with friends going, why have you protected me from this and not others that I love? But the fact that God has protected my heart feels like such a blessing that I will hold on to. And I think, too, one of the other things is that, I turned 43 in April there. And especially recently, I've had to kind of grapple and grieve the fact that at this stage in life, it's more and more unlikely that I'm going to have my own children. And especially whenever, you know, at the very start it was like, yep, Emma would love four kids. And Gordon and I are navigating that.

16:15 · Speaker 2 And that's okay. But It has also helped me, especially in preparing for today, it's also helped me step back and remember and see what I do have. I have two, I have a biological niece and a biological nephew and those two, Ruby and Finlay, they're seven and five and they are the loves of my life. Anybody that knows me, they mean, they mean the world to me.

16:45 · Speaker 1 Have a drink of water. Have a drink of water. That's good. My wife tells me when I get emotional to slow down. I'm not speaking a squeaky voice.

16:53 · Speaker 2 I'll try that.

16:54 · Speaker 1 So take a wee breath, relax, you'll be fine.

16:59 · Speaker 2 But no, they are. I am so blessed to be their auntie and you know, like everybody knows that Heather and Caroline and I are, we come as a trio and you know, and Heather has been married to Gareth for six years now and they have little Seth. who I am adopted auntie to. I have so many friends and family that I get to enjoy their kids with and have great relationships with. As I said earlier, I mean last night I was at Owen Shearer's wedding and Owen was one of my babies that I brought up through Youth. I've done Youth in Glen Abbey for 17 years and God has blessed me in abundance with the amount of young people that I that he has given me to spend a little bit of time on their journey and encouraging them. And I mean, last night at the wedding, there was easily, I don't know what, 25, 30 of them all there for Owens when. And I just sat back looking, going, wow, God, these are my babies that you have allowed me to walk with and give me the privilege and the blessing of walking with.

18:08 · Speaker 1 So when you consider and you reflect on all these things, how do you think your understanding of identity has changed? And I suppose, what does the measure of contentment look like for you?

18:22 · Speaker 2 One of the things I'd always struggled with in the past was self-esteem. And I think too, in a worldly perspective, you know, whenever it comes to relationships, whenever it comes to the fact that we're all flawed human beings, we can think of it through the worldly lens. am I attractive to someone? Am I good enough for someone? And I suppose to, especially having never had it, then take me to a place where my self-esteem was struggling because I was like, well, if I haven't had a boyfriend and that relationship, well, clearly nobody's appealing to me. You know, I'm not appealing to anybody. So it takes you down that dark path. But whenever things had changed, and it was probably not long after that that Children of Light talk.

19:08 · Speaker 2 I remember praying one night and during my prayer time I felt there was a very clear picture that God gave me of the Eiffel Tower. And as I looked closer to the Eiffel Tower there was a list on it running from the top to the very bottom and it had my name on it. And underneath As I went down the list, I saw lots of descriptive words, lots of characteristic words. As I looked at, there were loads that I recognised in myself. There were others that I probably didn't recognise so much and went, all right, okay, maybe, I don't know. But as I got down and down and down the list, there was a man writing on that list, and that man is God. And everything that is on that list is everything that God has written into my life and written about me. And I think whenever I went down the route of struggling with my self-esteem and getting lost in that and not being able to focus on God, it then made me question what God was doing.

20:13 · Speaker 2 But whenever I got that picture and saw all those things that God has written about me, I was very quickly taken to a place of Everything that is good in each one of us is from God. It comes from nowhere else. It is from God. And for us to question that is to question God. And God doesn't make mistakes. God does not make mistakes. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. And God has written so much good into our hearts and our characteristics and who we are.

20:51 · Speaker 2 And we have to trust in Him for that. And I think also there's, over the last number of years, I've also, as we've processed, God has given me such a reassurance in the fact that there's nothing wrong that with me as a single person saying I have a deep heart's desire for marriage. There's nothing wrong with that. Being single doesn't make me a better Christian, but also having a heart's desire for marriage doesn't make me a bad one either. So we have to balance both up. And before the age of 33, everything, my identity, everything of who I was and who I wanted to be was wrapped up in that marriage and that relationship and what that looked like. But God has totally changed me. And do you know what?

21:45 · Speaker 2 I don't know if there's a man for me or if there's not. But my job is to keep my eyes fixed on God. that's what he calls me too.

21:53 · Speaker 1 You're doing the same thing in the services you did in the last time.

21:56 · Speaker 2 Stop, not.

21:57 · Speaker 1 She did write something down about herself. Because everything from God's good.

22:02 · Speaker 2 And he did pull me out of the first one too.

22:05 · Speaker 1 How do you see yourself?

22:06 · Speaker 2 I'm awesome. OK. Everybody, I'm pretty awesome. OK. Been doing. You did it again? Yeah. No, and we are all those good things that God has written in me and my character and who I am are amazing things.

22:23 · Speaker 2 They are gifts. And if there's a man or not, first of all, if he's not a Christian, it's not going to happen. And secondly, the only thing that is important is that he sees that beautiful lust that God has written about me and sees my character, my heart, my nature, and more than anything else, my love for God and that's what matters.

22:44 · Speaker 1 Lovely. You talked at the beginning of our conversation about being a champion of both marriage and singleness. Do you want to tell us a little bit about what that means?

22:54 · Speaker 2 I am told a champion of both. It's really good. But this journey has very much been about God helping me find peace and contentment in him. It's been about finding absolute joy with him in my singleness. It's been about discovering who I am in him, and it's been about putting God first. And it's also been about learning about this deep desire for marriage. And as God and I have spent so much time unpacking this, I love marriage. Marriage is a beautiful thing.

23:35 · Speaker 2 There is so much joy in it to be celebrated. As you know what, like singleness is good, marriage is good, singleness is hard and marriage is hard. You know, they're both on equal footing. But what I love so much that God has revealed to me about marriage is that right from the very beginning in Genesis, marriage is set apart. Marriage is the relationship and the only relationship in the Bible that is kind of demonstrated as being the example to the world of the relationship between Jesus and the church. And that is so important. And we've got to rejoice in that. We've got to really, really hold on.

24:20 · Speaker 2 And I mean, Jesus speaks about that too. So he does whenever he goes into Matthew 19 and then Ephesians Ephesians 5, which we all know I love now. Ephesians 5 in particular just reiterates that the purpose of marriage, the uniqueness of that purpose of marriage, and this needs to be celebrated. We've got to celebrate marriages and we also need to pray for our marriages and pray for each other. And then whenever it comes to being a champion of singleness, when we look at what Paul says in Corinthians, I love how he is speaking directly to the church in Corinth at the time, okay? And he's reflecting on his own experience. And one of the things that he says is about it's better to be single to devote yourself to God. But what I love about the entire passage is the fact that he is so balanced.

25:13 · Speaker 2 You know, he's really balanced whenever it comes to marriage too. And that's about devotion to God. When it comes to service, and I said, you know, we said we've talked about how you have more time. sometimes if you're single. But when our circumstances change, our service changes and we're all called to serve. Our service is not dependent on our marital status. Our service changes as our circumstances change, but we're all called to serve. And that's not dependent on whether we're married or not.

25:45 · Speaker 2 And it is that point of, you know, I do go back to the not having someone else to consider. But as I said earlier, I'm so grateful and take so much joy in the fact that my singleness has afforded me space rather than time to find out more about God and discover more about who I am in Him.

26:08 · Speaker 1 So as your journey unfolds, what do you find still hard?

26:14 · Speaker 2 Could that be a loaded question? I think so. The flip side is navigating the roller coaster of emotions, of wanting to have someone to walk this journey with, wanting to have someone to share God with. And I think especially over the last couple of years too, I have been surprised and taken surprised by loneliness because I've moved out of home. My mum and dad were here on first service. I think they're going home to change the locks. But, I miss my mum and dad for company. I'm a people person.

26:57 · Speaker 2 Anybody who knows me knows I'm a people person.

26:59 · Speaker 1 I was talking to your mum and dad after the service.

27:01 · Speaker 2 Oh, stop.

27:02 · Speaker 1 No, Your dad asked me to ask you. No. This isn't scripted.

27:07 · Speaker 2 But I don't know what he's going to say.

27:09 · Speaker 1 How many times you phone him a day?

27:11 · Speaker 2 Oh, stop. No. Just a couple. one in the morning and one at night to say goodnight, and then maybe a couple of times in between. I can't help that. I do miss them. They never thought I would miss them, but I do. But it is, but it's a, and the thing is too, I think that loneliness is also enhanced for me by the fact that I work remotely.

27:35 · Speaker 2 You know, like that is, I have definitely found that really hard because I love being with people and I'm A tactile person. I love hugs. Please, everybody, never be afraid to come and give me a hug, okay? Always welcome. But yeah, the loneliness has been really, really hard. And I think one of the things is that I'm very grateful and thankful for the fact that my home, while I'm there by myself, hasn't been ruined for me in the loneliness. And I'm very grateful for that because I love my space. I really do.

28:10 · Speaker 2 I mean, even in terms of the singleness, especially lately, I mean, my two best friends, Heather's been married a while and Caroline has been married most recently. And Heather started her family and our little trio has grown, which is such a blessing to have Andrew and Gareth and my little Seth. And it is wonderful to walk that journey together. But especially recently, it has also made me quite aware of when I go home, I go home on my own. and I think too, as a single person, while I am so happy for Heather and Gareth and Andrew and Caroline that they have each other, and I have Andrew and Gareth too, there's nothing they wouldn't do for me. This is true. But, you know, I can have equal joy, not only for them, but in experiencing their marriages with them. but also equal grief as well and equal pain and the loneliness.

29:13 · Speaker 1 This is quite a challenge and are there any things that help you navigate that?

29:18 · Speaker 2 Yes, I would say good family, good friends, good community, love home group, love being at church and couldn't do it without anybody that I walk with. But most of all, I know that I'm trusting in God no matter what the answer looks like. And I have so much hope. And I think that's one of the biggest things that this journey has taught me is that having been away from God for that year, I know how empty that felt. I mean, I talk about loneliness in the house, those are feelings and they pass. But being and spending that time without God was horrible, was a really, really dark, horrible place to be. And so I'm happy sitting in a place of hope knowing that God's walking at all with me. You know.

30:10 · Speaker 1 Okay, well, as we kind of round things up a little bit now, what would you like to say to folks who are here who are married to understand about singleness and what would you like to share with single people who are here today?

30:26 · Speaker 2 Yeah. I think to marry people, just to understand about singleness, that many singles carry both joy and both grief. You know, we can all carry those and no matter what circumstance we're going through. And we've got to be open and honest with each other and we've got to be willing to have those conversations. You know, we've got to be able to be willing to say, you know, if we're talking to someone about their singleness and even if we're talking to someone about their marriage or whatever the circumstance, don't ever be afraid to say, let me pray for you. Because I think that's one thing that I have found hard. I know that, we're a body of believers and we are broken and we can do silly things, we can say silly things at the wrong time and all that kind of thing.

31:21 · Speaker 2 But I could probably count on one hand how many people have said to me, I'll pray for you in your singleness. And a lot of that has come off the back of conversation of people saying, but I'm frightened to pray for you because what if you don't get it? And my response to that is it is none of our responsibilities to answer those prayers. That has got to be left with God. That's not our job to carry that, but God expects us to come to Him in prayer. He expects us to bring everything to Him in prayer. And if we love each other and we're walking with each other, don't ever be afraid to say, I'm praying for you, no matter what the circumstance is and no matter what it's going to look like. And equally to single people, we need to pray for married people.

32:05 · Speaker 2 We need to pray for our friends' marriages and champion their marriages because marriage is so incredibly special and we need each other. We really, really do. God has created beauty and purpose in both seasons. He really has. And as a family of God, we are all called to celebrate, to support, to grieve with each other. rather than compare ourselves. There's too much of that that's done outside in the world. Let's not do that whenever it comes to we want to walk with God together.

32:40 · Speaker 2 And I also want to say to single people, don't let comparison steal your joy or pull you away from God. Hold on to hope, but hold on to it without envy. And that's hard to do. I mean, I'm 43, this has taken me a long time to figure out. But celebrate the beauty and who you are. Celebrate the beauty of marriages. Let's celebrate singleness. Let's celebrate the fact that we have the opportunity to walk together, to be in each other's lives and to speak in each other's lives.

33:10 · Speaker 2 And whatever the future holds, don't stop hoping. Don't stop living either.

33:17 · Speaker 1 Listen, Emma, I really appreciate you sharing. We're going to sing a couple of songs, one now and then I'm going to come back and have a chat with folks and then one to finish. Do you want to mention those and what they mean for you?

33:27 · Speaker 2 Yes, one is Christ Be Magnified and the other is Built My Life and it's they're literally just two songs of surrender.

33:37 · Speaker 1 Two songs of surrender. Why don't we thank Emma for sharing so openly and all stay with us. Thank you. Let's all stand and sing together.

34:07 · Speaker 3 When creation suddenly articulate With 1000 tongues to lift one cry. Then from north to south and east to west we'd hear Christ be magnified. Where the whole earth echoing his eminence His name would burst from sea and sky. From rivers to the mountaintops, we'd hear Christ be magnified. Christ be magnified, let His praise arise. Christ be magnified in me. Oh, Christ be magnified from the altar of my life.

35:31 · Speaker 3 Christ be magnified in me. When every creature finds its hymn most melting, and every human heart its native cry, with any wild in raptured hymn of praise we'll sing Christ be magnified. Christ be magnified, let his praise arise. Christ be magnified in me. Christ be magnified from the altar of my life. Christ be magnified in me. I won't bow to idols, I'll stand strong and worship you.

37:00 · Speaker 3 And if it puts me in the fire, I'll reach your eyes because you're there too. I won't be formed by feelings, I hope as to what is true. If the Christ brings transformation, I'll be crucified with you. Though death is just the doorway into resurrection life. If I join you in your suffering, then I'll join you as you rise. And when you return in glory with all the angels and the saints, my heart will still be singing, my song will be the same. Oh, Christ be magnified, let his praise arise. Christ be magnified in me

38:04 · Speaker 3 Christ be magnified at the altar of my life Christ be magnified in me Christ be magnified let his praise arise Christ be magnified in me. Oh, Christ be magnified from the altar of my life. Christ be magnified in me. You can all take your seats again.

38:56 · Speaker 1 Again, thank you, Emma, so much for sharing with us. When I was meeting up with Emma and chatting through her story and again just this morning in conversation, I suppose you could say her story isn't about one particular circumstance. It's a story about something I think every one of us understands. Because underneath, I suppose, the belly of the story really is this issue of longing that we mentioned in our introduction. Every person here this morning carries a longing. Something we hoped would happen, something we wished were different, something we continue to pray about. And for Emma, that longing took a particular shape.

39:41 · Speaker 1 But for others, it may look very different. It may be health, it may be family, it may be work. It may be relationships, it may be a burden or struggle that we've carried quietly for years. The details are different, but the human experience is remarkably similar. And longing often sits beneath the surface of our lives. Sometimes we recognize it immediately, and sometimes it reveals itself in our disappointments, our frustrations, our restlessness. We think, if only we could change If this situation would change, then I would finally be content. If only my health improved.

40:22 · Speaker 1 If only that relationship was restored. If only if I found the right job. If only my children were making different choices. If only, if only, if only, if only. And one of the things that stood out for me this morning was the danger of allowing a good thing to become the thing, the main thing. Of chasing something good at the expense of something which is greater. Because there's nothing wrong with longing. There's nothing wrong with desire.

40:52 · Speaker 1 The Bible never tells us to stop bringing your hopes and dreams to God. In Psalms 37, David writes, Take the light in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. At first glance, those words can sound like a promise that if we follow God faithfully, He will give us whatever we want. But in the wider context of the Psalms, it suggests something deeper. This Psalms is a Psalms of wisdom written to people who are wrestling with disappointment, injustice, who are waiting. And the surrounding verses invite the reader to trust in the Lord, to delight themselves in Him, to commit their way to Him, to be still before Him and to wait patiently. And I think waiting is one of the hardest parts of following the Lord, because we live in a culture that expects immediate answers, instant access, quick results. Yet so much of the Christian life is learned in the waiting.

41:58 · Speaker 1 Throughout Scripture, God often does some of his deepest work in people when they receive not what they want immediately, but in the waiting. while they're waiting. Abraham waited for a son, Hannah waited for a child, David waited to become king. The disciples waited for the coming of the Holy Spirit. Yet not every story in Scripture ends with that longing being fulfilled. Paul prayed for his thorn in the flesh to be removed. And God just replied, my grace will be sufficient for you. David longed to build a temple, but God had a different plan.

42:34 · Speaker 1 And Hebrews reminds us that many faithful people died without seeing the fulfillment of what had been promised. And so when we read Scripture, it's not that every longing is fulfilled in this life, but what we do here as we read Scripture is that God is faithful with us in every season of life. And sometimes he gives us what we ask for, sometimes he leads us in a different direction, sometimes the longing will remain, But in every circumstance, he promises his presence and his sustaining power and love for us. And that's why we say waiting is never wasted when God is working. And the emphasis is not on getting what we want from God, which I thought Emma just, it was powerful what she said about that marriage talk and how it impacted her, but on finding our deepest joy in God himself. Because as we delight ourselves in him, our desires are shaped, refined, and sometimes even transformed. God not only fulfills desires, he often reshapes them. And that's why there's nothing wrong with praying for something good.

43:49 · Speaker 1 The challenge comes when the thing we are praying for takes the place of our identity, our fulfillment, our sense of security, that desire is where it lies. And because we were never desired to build our identity on anything else other than Christ, I think what we find out is the disappointment of an unfilled longing can be devastating. Which is why Jesus reminds us to seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness and other things will be given to us as well. Notice he doesn't say other things don't matter. He doesn't dismiss our needs. He doesn't ignore our desires. He simply says put them in the right order. Seek him first.

44:36 · Speaker 1 Put him first. Build your life and identity on him. As Emma shared, it was interesting that her circumstances weren't changing, but her relationship with God was changing. And Emma moved from seeing God primarily as a means of getting what she wanted to discovering that God himself was her greatest gift. It was powerful. She moved from defining herself by what she didn't have to discovering who she was in Christ. And that's where the journey to real freedom truly begins. Paul in Philippians, as he writes, Just a powerful text here, as he reflects on the things that once defined him, his background, achievements, his status, his religious credentials.

45:28 · Speaker 1 Yet compared with knowing Christ, they no longer held the same fun role. Everything was counted loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord. I think we could ask ourselves that same question. Could we say that everything we would count as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ? You see, Paul came to an understanding in his life that nothing compared with the privilege and joy of knowing Christ personally. Everything else became secondary, not unimportant, it became secondary because his identity and purpose and hope were rooted in Jesus. not because the other things were bad, but because Jesus was better. And we felt that and we saw that and we heard that as Emma shared her story with us.

46:23 · Speaker 1 And perhaps the invitation for all of us this morning is to bring our longing honestly to God, to continue to pray, to continue to hope, but also to have open hands and surrender all of those desires to God and say, Lord, this matters deeply to me, but you matter more. This is my longing. but you are my identity. This is my hope, but you are my strong foundation. The heart of Emma's story is not that every longing has been fulfilled. It's that in the midst of waiting, she has discovered that her identity and hope are secure in Christ. Not because the longing's disappeared, but because it no longer defines who she is.

47:14 · Speaker 1 Her circumstances may still be unfolding, and she'll gladly take a hug and a prayer. But her identity is secure. And whatever season we find ourselves in today, I think the same invitation is open to us to consider and to ponder. Do we delight ourselves in the Lord? Do we seek Him first? Do we trust Him deeply? Are we willing to allow him to shape us even in the waiting? Let's take time to pray together.

47:49 · Speaker 1 Heavenly Father, we want to thank you so much for Emma's story, for her willingness to come and to share and to be vulnerable and open. And we just thank you for your faithfulness for every season of her life. Thank you that you're the God that pursues, that doesn't let go, that your love is incredible. And we recognise that her story is still unfolding and we pray that you would continue to sustain her, encourage her, bless her and lead her as she trusts in you. Thank you that you see every longing that each of us carry. Thank you that you are not distant from our disappointments, our questions or our struggles. Father God, many of us carry things today that only you know about. prayers we've prayed for years, dreams that have not yet been fulfilled, questions that still remain unanswered.

48:47 · Speaker 1 We pray this morning that you would help us not to become defined by what we are waiting for, but rather help us to be rooted in who we are in you. Teach us what it truly means to delight ourselves in you. Teach it what it means to seek you first. Guard us from the comparisons and the envy and the reality that it's so easy to place our identity in other things apart from you. And in every season in life, whether joyful or difficult, help us discover that you are faithful, you are a good God, and you are enough. Thank you that in Christ we are loved, known and secure. whatever season we find ourselves walking in at present. We want to say this morning we love you and we ask you to hear our prayers in Jesus' name.

49:46 · Speaker 1 Amen.