Paul's Letter to the EphesiansPart 12 of 13
Talk 12 - Ephesians 6:1-9
Transcript
Skip the transcript0:03 Hi everybody. I can't quite believe that we're back here again, not dissimilar to COVID a few years ago. Let me assure you that unlike those recordings during COVID, I am not wearing my pajama bottoms and slippers. I am fully dressed for this occasion. Can I also say thank you to everybody. It's wonderful to hear that there are 26 different home groups meeting today, different temporary church plants if you like and we're so grateful all of us for how everybody has responded and just gathered together and at this time of challenge. Okay let's get stuck in we are in Ephesians 6 that's where we've got to this morning and before we jump into the first nine verses that we're gonna look at today let me just remind you of the context of this letter as a whole because context is everything when it comes to this morning's passage. What we're about to read about the home, what we're about to read about the workplace is not this new separate section.
1:06 It's a continuation of Paul's thought flow and it's crucial that we remember that, that we remember that this is all part of our new identity in Christ, adopted sons and daughters, that this is all founded on the riches of God's grace that he has lavished on us, that this all flows out of the reality that who we were once dead in our transgressions are now alive in Christ, that we who were once darkness are now children of light in the Lord, that we now have been brought into the church, God's dwelling place by his spirit, God's display of his manifold wisdom to the the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms. That we've been given the Holy Spirit of God as the guarantee of our inheritance and that we've been given the spirit as our spiritual power. So with all that glorious truth in our heads and in our hearts, let's read today's passage together. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life in the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
2:29 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven and there is no favoritism with him. So, Paul addresses four different categories of people here. And although it's short, there is a lot to think about in here, and my time is limited. So what I want to do is really just to lay out the principles and start off the conversations that will happen in your groups together.
3:36 but before we move through each group in turn I want to highlight a couple of pitfalls that we might fall into as we approach what Paul is saying here and the first is this and I've got a little I've got a little visual prop to help us with this and that's a mirror and the first is this that it would be so easy to hold up God's word here as a mirror and point it in every direction apart from ourselves. We could point it at our Christian boss who we think needs to hear this or our Christian employee who we think really needs to hear this or our infuriating, exasperating parents or our rebellious son or daughter. And we keep this mirror pointed away from ourselves and we miss how God through his word and by his spirit might be wanting to renew our minds, to transform our thinking, to show us something about our living as children of the light. So let's have the courage to hold it up in front of our own faces and look into it, totally focused on the gospel of Christ. But there is an associated danger when we do that too. There's the danger that we, and I know many people feel this way, that we use these instructions from Paul to beat ourselves up. The truth is that every one of us is sinful. Every one of us is broken.
5:12 So all of us have messed up in these relationships. I have been, and in some senses still am, an employee, an employer, a son, a father. And I have many regrets at things that I have done. and not done, things that I've said and not said, and especially as a dad. And I know it would be easy for me and it would be easy for lots of you listening to sink into a sort of quicksand of regret and guilt and just get stuck there. And that's definitely not the purpose of Paul's writing here. I need to remember, we need to remember that we are forgiven in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he has lavished on us. And his grace, his forgiveness gives us the foundation, gives us the freedom to say, I've got today.
6:14 How can I apply this today? How can I be a child of the light today? How can I be wise and not foolish today under the guidance of the Holy Spirit as a son, as a father or a mother, as an employee, as an employer? So let's do our best to avoid those two potential approaches. And let's look, like I said, courageously at ourselves in the light of the gospel as we continue to consider this continuation of what it is to walk in the way of love and to live as children of light. And it's to children that Paul turns first and speaks to first. And that would have been pretty staggering in this original context. That would have caused a murmur or two when this letter was being read out to the churches.
7:08 In the Greco-Roman world, there were various what were called household codes. the most well-known being included in Aristotle's politics. And they were sets of instructions that were written specifically to the head of the household, to the father, the husband, the master, as to how best exercise his authority over those different people in his household. So for others to be included in Paul's instructions, for him to give dignity, for him to give agency to children, to slaves, That would have been both significant and deeply surprising. Now, maybe any children or teenagers listening in this morning might well wish that if Paul was going to say anything specifically to them, it would have been a lot better than children obey your parents. But that's what he says. And he's talking to you as children, children of light in your own right. And he's making it clear that one of the core ways that you can live out your identity as a child of light who belongs to Jesus is to obey what your parents ask you to do.
8:25 Why? Well, because it's right. Because in God's order of things, according to him, it's right, it's the right thing to do. It's not about what you get out of it, It's about doing what's right. As a not yet adult son or daughter, for you to reflect the true light of Christ, to demonstrate your allegiance to and your obedience to him, to live in the Lord, as it says here, that involves the unglamorous, the challenging, the difficult daily work of obeying your parents. It's a significant part of living out your identity in Jesus. So if you're, for example, standing up, say at the front of CU in school, if you are leading praise somewhere like that or in church, maybe you're on a committee somewhere in the same sort of way, but you are persistently rebelling against your parents at home, that doesn't add up.
9:29 That's not authentic. And that in the Lord phrase, it also provides the boundaries within which obedience should let's be clear here that obedience is not unconditional. Paul's not asking for that. If parents are instructing you to do something that clearly goes against God's word, that clearly goes against the Lordship of Jesus and obedience to him, well, your allegiance to him comes first. But you also have a responsibility in the best way that you're able to explain humbly and gently to your parents why you don't think you can carry out what it is they've asked you to do. And of course, there is a time limit.
10:19 There is an age limit to obeying our parents. I'm 47. I don't think that I should be obeying my dad anymore. And I don't think that he should be expecting it. I am, however, as part of my honouring of Christ, still meant to honour my dad. And what the principle of honouring looks like in different individual contexts with different personalities, that might be different. For me and for my dad in this season, if I speak to that, I think it maybe looks something like this. I think it looks like me being gracious.
10:57 I think that looks like me being patient. Seeking his counsel, drawing on his wisdom. Giving him time. not just using him for my needs being someone he can trust being someone he can help and I'm sure I can do a lot better in a lot of those areas and I know he'll be listening so I'll leave it there and I'll leave you too to discuss in your home groups whether Paul means that we'll live to a really old age based on how well we'll honour our parents that's an interesting one to look at in terms of what he quotes here from the Old Testament. Let's move on. Fathers are next. We need to hold up that mirror again, those of us who are fathers.
11:47 Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and the instruction of the Lord. A quick word on the mention of fathers here and not mothers. No doubt this likely has something to do with the father's specific role as head of the household in this first century Greco-Roman culture, but I also reckon it captures something of many fathers' special ability, their natural talent, and I include myself in this, in exasperating our children. However, as we consider these principles that Paul lays out here that transcend time and that transcend culture, whilst keeping the emphasis on fathers, there's much to say here to the joint parental unit of fathers and mothers together in our context. And again, this is, it's an amazing instruction in the first century setting where fathers had every right to bring up their children, speak to their children, treat their children as they saw fit. But the father who's received the grace of his heavenly father who belongs to Christ, the father who's been given the Holy Spirit, he is to approach his relationship with his children differently. His authority is to be restrained.
13:17 His authority is to be constrained by his new self-identity in Christ. I like to imagine this letter being read out for the first time in one of the churches it went to. and a father's eyebrow being raised towards his child whenever Paul says, children, obey your parents. But then the child's eyebrow being raised even higher whenever Paul says, fathers, do not exasperate your children. No doubt it's happening right now in a few groups around the place. So what might applying do not exasperate your children, Do not provoke them to anger look like for us. Let me just give you a few conversation starters. Maybe try to avoid the following, harsh spirit crushing discipline that reflects nothing of the Father's grace.
14:19 Not explaining ourselves humbly or patiently. Inconsistency in our expectations from day to day or from sibling to sibling. Constant criticism wrapped up in banter wrapping paper. That's a sarcastic speciality of many Northern Ireland fathers. Comparison, either with that wonderful Christian kid who goes to church or again with another sibling. No interest or no effort in seeing things from their perspective, or even on the other side, avoiding discipline at all because you just want to be their best mate. All these and more have the potential to exasperate.
15:12 I know from my own perspective, one of my own major faults is often having so many things in my head that I don't listen properly whenever my boys are trying to speak to me and trying to explain things to me. As parents, we need to do the joint work of regularly examining ourselves before the Lord. We need to hold this mirror up to ourselves. And at the same time, we need to be going to our children too with courage and asking them, what unreasonable ways do I wind you up? but then Paul turns to the positive principle instead he says bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord and we've got to realize this that this is a principle Paul doesn't outline the detail a bit like marriage last week he gives the principle and he leaves us the freedom to work out that detail within our own family situations so we need to be careful not to be too prescriptive not to all our ideas of this onto other people. But we need to be equally careful not to abdicate this responsibility, not to say, well, the training and instruction in the Lord, that happens in church. I'll hand that over. I'll franchise that out.
16:39 And again, if we are being reflective and we realize that actually up to this point, we have not done a good job in this area. we have not fulfilled our responsibility well. Let's not allow our disappointment at ourselves to paralyze us. Let's positively consider, in the grace of God, even the small things we can begin to do now. Again, one conversation starter in this point. And again, it doesn't cover all that Paul means here, but it hopefully points us in the right direction. And it's that picture at the beginning of chapter five that Gilbert has talked about.
17:26 He talked about it three weeks ago. He talked about it a little bit last week. That picture of imitation. Follow God's example, the NIV says, or the ESV puts it a different way. Be imitators of God. And in the same lines, Paul, as a spiritual father to the church in Corinth, says to them, imitate me as I imitate Christ. And surely this is such a significant part of what it is to nourish, what it is to nurture and train our children in the Lord, giving them a good, giving them a visible, giving them an open and expressed example of living faith in Christ to imitate. So for example,
18:15 Do our kids see us spending time in God's word? Do we ever tell them about how God is speaking to us through his word? Do we ever read it with them? Do they see us praying? Do we do it with them? Do we tell them how we're praying for them? Do they see us serving? Do they see us prioritising sacrificial commitment to the church, sacrificial giving?
18:50 Or is all of that a sort of optional extra on top of the important things in life? Our kids will tell us what we truly value. Do we explain to them why these things are important to us? Do they ever see us say sorry? Do they see us ask for forgiveness? Do they see us ever admit when we're wrong? And do we encourage them more in the growth of their faith or in the raising of their grades? There's so much more we could say on this, of course, but that's a start.
19:30 What things can we change? What things can we do? What things can we talk about? Do more genuinely say to our children, imitate me as I imitate Christ? So Paul then turns to slaves. Now let's be clear, while we don't have time to get into this, Paul is in no way endorsing slavery here. And what I'll do is just to cover that off, I'll add some thoughts on that in the questions that I send through to home groups so that if that comes up in conversation, you can add some of those thoughts in. But where we want to place our focus is on how the principles he outlines here might apply to us in our very different context, of course, as employees, as members of staff in our workplaces.
20:18 And what strikes me as he outlines these principles is how often Jesus is mentioned. Listen to what he says again. slaves obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart just as you would obey Christ obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you but as slaves of Christ doing the will of God from your heart serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord Christ not people because you know that the Lord Christ will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. We are to be children of light in our workplaces. We don't get to leave that identity at the door. We're to be imitators of Christ in our workplaces. We don't get to leave that allegiance at the door. And the reality of that identity as children of light is that if we teach in a school, for example, because that probably talks to about 50% of the Glen Abbey population, our true boss is not our principal, it's Christ.
21:26 Or if we work in a supermarket, our true boss is not our line manager, it's Christ. And that works in every situation when it comes to our employment. I saw someone post a funny little video last week. And it was of someone sitting at their desk, they were tired and they were stressed out and they lifted a picture frame from their desk and then the caption comes up in the video, remember who you're doing it for. And then the camera pans around and we get to see what is on the picture and what it is, is the logo of His Majesty's Revenue and Customs. Now, of course, that might feel like the way it is sometimes, but the reality is for us as God's new people, for children of light, we do it all for and in the name of Jesus. And the reality of that calling changes everything. It means we are to strive to carry out our earthly boss's instructions diligently and wholeheartedly and respectfully, not because they necessarily deserve our respect or our diligence or our wholeheartedness, but because Christ does.
22:43 Not because they necessarily treat us fairly or pay us fairly, but because Christ has lavished the riches of his grace on us. Our work ethic and our attitude is to be a response to him, not a transactional response to the quantity or the quality of work that we think our bosses deserve. or because of what we think we're going to get out of it when they're watching. But as a response of gratitude to Jesus who promises that no good we do will go unrewarded in his kingdom. There is this promise that what we do for him now will be rewarded in time. That doesn't mean, and let's be careful here, that doesn't mean we have to stay in a terrible work situation. and just grin and bear it. We can exercise the opportunities we have for discussion, for mediation.
23:50 We can look for another role, of course we can, and we have the freedom to do all that. Let's not be careful to take this too far. But when we're in our jobs, when we're subject to these employers, we need to be people who respond differently because our ultimate master is Christ. and then finally and very briefly Paul turns to masters and again our context is very different but the principles can be applied to those of us who has been given the responsibility to lead or manage others in the workplace and many of us will know the deep disappointment of hearing often from friends who who aren't Christians about their Christian bosses somebody who might be an in a local church or a praise leader or a home group leader or whatever, but our friends experience of them as an employer, as a boss, is of a cold-hearted, demanding, unfair, unkind, ungracious boss. It seems like it's one rule for business and another for church, one personality for business and another for church. And that's such a terrible and pervasive witness to Christ as the light.
25:12 And Paul allows no room here for that sort of incongruence in our lives. And so for those of us who have been given this deep responsibility to lead staff, and that I know can be a deeply, deeply challenging responsibility. We are called the lead out of our identity as children of light. We're called the lead out of the grace and the mercy that has been shown to us, out of the filling of the Holy Spirit. We're called the lead as ambassadors of Christ, seeking to reflect him and his light in our attitudes towards and our treatment of those people who have been entrusted to our authority. And again, those of us who are in that position need to hold the mirror up to ourselves, the mirror of God's word up to ourselves and probably ask ourselves some very challenging questions about that. So children, parents, employees, employers, whatever categories you find yourselves in.
26:28 There's a lot to think about, there's a lot to talk about and there'll be a lot of, let's be honest, there'll be a lot of specifically challenging circumstances in each of those areas that you might be in and that you're asking questions about that you will need the help of the church with, that you will need the help of your home group with, of the help of trusted friends, even of elders perhaps, to help you navigate and pray through how you might apply these principles in your own deeply challenging situations, whether that's between a parent and a child, whether that's between an employee and an employer. Let me say this, you're not meant to do that alone. You're meant to do that in community. You're meant to do that in community with your Bible open. You're meant to do that in community with your Bible open and the power of the Holy Spirit. And I'd urge you, if you're in that situation and you're asking those questions, to do just that. Let's pray together as we finish.
27:35 Father, thank you for who we are in Christ. Thank you for your grace that you've lavished upon us. Thank you that we are adopted sons and daughters. Thank you that we are children of light, that we've been given your Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our inheritance and to empower us to be the people who we already are. These places, these contexts that we've talked about are often the most difficult to live out our new selves, in our homes, in our workplaces, with our parents, with our children, with our bosses, with our employees. Father, by your spirit, use your word as we often pray to show us, first and foremost, the grace that all of this is founded on, but also where we need to ask for your help to change, where we need to ask for your help to grow, where we need to ask for your help to begin to heal relationships,
28:59 to put them back together again, relationships that are built on your gospel, on your grace, on your hope. And we ask all this in Jesus, the true light's name. Amen. Amen.
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About this talk
A sermon on Ephesians 6:1–9 considers how Christians can live out their identity in Christ in family and workplace relationships. It discusses children honouring parents, parents raising children without exasperating them, employees working as for Christ, and employers leading with grace. The speaker encourages listeners to apply the passage with humility, remember God’s grace, and seek support from the church and trusted Christians.
Bible passages
- Ephesians 6:1–9 (main passage)
