Storybearers - Week 1
Storybearers
18 May 2025
https://media.glenabbey.church/talks/storybearers-week-1

[0:00] Speaker 1: Okay, we are, as a lot of you will know, are starting a new series this morning.
[0:04] We're calling it Story Bears.
[0:06] As I said last week, that's a complete ripoff of Phil Knox's books title.
[0:10] I have told him that we're doing it, and that's fine.
[0:15] So that's the plan, and the reason we're calling it Story Bears is because it makes so much sense to do that.
[0:21] We've been thinking about how we tell our own story, how we tell God's story in our Building Gospel Bridges series.
[0:27] And so over the next few weeks, what we're going to do is this.
[0:29] We're going to create some space to be able to hear stories from some of our own members.
[0:36] And as I said last week, if you were around in 2018, 2019, and remember our Soundtrack of Life series in the Psalms and the conversations that we had around those, this is going to be very similar.
[0:51] Each week before I interview somebody or before there's an interview or a conversation should take place.
[0:57] Interview sounds very formal.
[0:58] I'll spend a short time, and I'm about to do that now, teaching from a passage chosen by our invited guests.
[1:05] And then this time, rather than just the Psalms, this can be anywhere from the Bible to make it an easier choice.
[1:13] And really, the passage that they have chosen is in some way a golden thread, if you like, in the tapestry of the story that God has been weaving for them.
[1:26] So this week, my guests will be Neil and Sharon Seymour, and I'll invite them up shortly.
[1:31] But before they come up, I'm going to take a few minutes to consider the passage that Sharon gave to me as one of those golden threads.
[1:39] and it is this, it's 1 Thessalonians 5, 16 to 18.
[1:44] But let's just pray briefly before we open that up.
[1:49] Father, as we begin this series, we pray that you would use each teaching and each conversation for your kingdom and for your glory.
[2:00] Our prayer is that as people's stories are told, we all might be encouraged, we all might be strengthened, we all might be challenged.
[2:10] that you might use these family stories in your work of sanctifying us, changing us into the likeness of your son, making us more holy.
[2:21] And we pray that as these stories tell the power of your word, that you might guide us to your word then with greater eagerness, with greater anticipation and with greater thankfulness.
[2:34] And we pray too that anyone listening, either here in the room this morning online afterwards, that doesn't yet know you, that doesn't yet know your son, would hear clearly people witnessing to the profound difference faith in Jesus makes, the truth of his word and the difference that makes, the encouragement that his spirit makes,
[2:59] the difference being part of a church family makes too in some of the most difficult circumstances of life, and that you might open their eyes to the glory, to glory of who you are, to your love, to your grace, to your invitation to them and to your hope and life.
[3:19] And we pray this in Jesus' name.
[3:21] Amen.
[3:22] I'm grateful to Neil and Sharon that because we've got a lot to fit in this morning, that the passage they gave me wasn't a long one.
[3:28] It's three verses.
[3:30] It's one sentence, which is great.
[3:32] Now, don't get me wrong.
[3:33] I could easily speak for 45 minutes in this.
[3:36] I won't, but I could.
[3:38] But just to be upfront, this will not be a fully rounded teaching of the passage that they've given me.
[3:43] It'll only be a few thoughts that have really stuck out for me as I've thought about it for myself over the last couple of weeks.
[3:50] So here's what that one sentence says.
[3:52] Paul writing to the church in Thessalonica, rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
[4:04] One sentence.
[4:06] very short, very easily memorized, very straightforward.
[4:11] I think there's something in that that Paul has done it that way, and that might be a challenge for you to take away this week, to memorize this one sentence and set it before you each day.
[4:22] But before you do that, let me ask you first, what is your initial, your reflex response whenever you read these words?
[4:35] And my reaction in the past has been that it could be very easy for these words to come across as if they're condemning you.
[4:44] That you might feel condemned by them.
[4:46] That you might feel in some way chastised by them.
[4:50] That you might feel in some way told off by them.
[4:53] That almost these are like finger-wagging commands.
[4:56] Rejoice always.
[4:57] Pray continually.
[4:59] Give thanks in all circumstances because that's what you're meant to do.
[5:04] And I can understand that as I say.
[5:08] But let me invite you to remember then who is writing and who he's writing to.
[5:14] This is the Apostle Paul and he is someone who knew ongoing significant suffering and struggle and persecution.
[5:23] Read 2 Corinthians 11 if you want a little window into that.
[5:28] For all that he had gone through for the sake of Christ.
[5:32] And then he's writing to a church Thessalonica that has suffered and continues to suffer persecution.
[5:38] We can read about the opposition in the city, in Acts, and Paul talks directly to them in this letter about their suffering for their faith in chapter 1 and chapter 2 of this letter.
[5:50] So he is not writing these exhortations as someone living the good life, living a trouble-free life, to lots of people living a trouble-free life.
[6:01] It's the opposite.
[6:02] He's writing to people, to use his words in chapter one, in the midst of severe suffering.
[6:12] That's the point.
[6:14] So, and let me say this humbly, if you're someone in the midst right now,
[6:23] these verses are not less for you.
[6:27] They are more for you.
[6:32] and I hope Neil and Sharon's story will bear that out for you too and I've read these verses countless times over the years but as I've spent time in them over the last couple of weeks one phrase has stood out to me in a new way and it's how this ends for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus I've spent a lot of time in my life thinking about contemplating,
[7:01] reflecting on God's will for my life.
[7:06] But that's often tended to be in the sort of big moment fork in the road life decision.
[7:13] Education, career, marriage, relationships, family, all of those sorts of things.
[7:20] And I think so often we can get stuck of only thinking about God's will in our lives in those sort of categories.
[7:30] But the reality is here that Paul outlines this.
[7:37] Those last two words, we are in Christ.
[7:42] And that throws me back to what we learned in Ephesians.
[7:44] Remember chapter 2, and God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ, past tense, already done, remember?
[7:56] In order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
[8:09] Our stories, mine, Nathan's, yours, if you trust Jesus as Lord, are stories in Christ.
[8:21] And in that eternal story, on that eternal canvas, God's ultimate priority is our holiness into and for eternity.
[8:32] Paul says a chapter earlier in this letter, it is God's will, Again, same thing.
[8:37] It is God's will that you should be.
[8:41] What would we fill in at the end of the sentence?
[8:45] Happy?
[8:47] Fulfilled?
[8:48] Relationally fulfilled?
[8:49] Professionally fulfilled?
[8:52] It's none of those.
[8:54] It is God's will that you should be sanctified.
[8:59] And then a paragraph on from our reading in chapter 5.
[9:02] Paul reinforces this as he prays.
[9:03] may God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.
[9:12] There's God's will for us in Christ Jesus, that we would, by his grace, day by day, grow in holiness and become more and more, again, remembering back to Ephesians, who we already are in Christ and who we're gonna be for eternity in Christ.
[9:32] And that expands our perspective on his will for us beyond those categories, those fork in the road categories.
[9:40] But at the same time, it also narrows our focus onto his will for us today.
[9:48] For this day.
[9:51] So we can say, I don't know what God's will for me is with all sorts of things.
[9:55] I don't know what God's will for me is with these A-level choices or these university choices or these career options.
[10:01] or this relationship, or what God's will is for me in the midst of this trial, this suffering.
[10:06] But I do know that his ultimate will for me is my sanctification.
[10:12] And I do know that as part of that, his will for me today, whatever the circumstances,
[10:21] is that I would step into the Holy Spirit, give an opportunity to rejoice, to pray, and to give him thanks, and to somehow by his grace be transformed one degree further as I do so.
[10:36] This is his will for me in Christ Jesus.
[10:42] The reality is this, that these verses are in no way finger-wagging, in no way accusatory or condescending commands and please don't allow them to be twisted into that in your own head.
[10:59] The reality is that rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances is actually a stunning invitation to live in the reality of being in Christ by the power of his spirit.
[11:13] The reality is that seeking to adopt this daily posture of heart before God is absolutely central to inviting and allowing him by his spirit to come in and perform his sanctifying, transforming work in our hearts.
[11:34] I don't think that it's any accident that the verse that comes after this is, do not quench the spirit.
[11:43] And we can quench the spirit.
[11:45] And I speak again from far too much experience here.
[11:49] with our natural fleshly responses.
[11:54] God, seriously, do you know the day I've had?
[11:58] Do you know the week I've had, the month I've had, the year I've had, the decade I've had?
[12:05] I'll rejoice when there's something to celebrate.
[12:07] I'll give thanks when there's something to be thankful for.
[12:14] But when I trust, when I choose to trust that these commands are given in love for my good, for my growth, and I literally catch myself on in the Holy Spirit.
[12:31] Probably even more biblical to say walk in step with the Spirit, but you get the idea.
[12:37] It only takes a moment to realize and remember that in Christ,
[12:43] there's an inexhaustible list of reasons to rejoice, to rejoice in the Lord and to give him thanks.
[12:53] Again, just remember back to Ephesians, the first few verses in chapter one, whatever else is going on in my life, I am today, right now, this.
[13:02] I am blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
[13:07] I am chosen in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless.
[13:12] I am predestined for adoption to sonship through Jesus.
[13:16] I am a recipient of the lavish outpouring of the grace of God
[13:22] that has given me forgiveness
[13:27] so that I am in no way condemned.
[13:31] And as I rejoice in the Lord and give thanks for the riches of his grace lavished on me, I walk in step with his spirit just a little bit more.
[13:41] I walk in step with his will just that little bit more.
[13:47] There's lots more I could say, but I need to bring, I need to shine up here in a moment.
[13:52] But let me encourage you to continue to consider those exhortations and just one thing before they come up.
[13:58] One thing I think it's important to say is this, and I'm sure we'll hear the truth of this as they talk now.
[14:05] But as Paul urges us to rejoice, To rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.
[14:12] Let me make it clear here.
[14:13] Paul is not condemning or prohibiting lament.
[14:19] He's not condemning or prohibiting tears or questions or sorrow.
[14:25] This is not some sort of biblical call to put on a happy face.
[14:33] This is not an either or thing.
[14:36] This is not I choose to rejoice or I choose to lament.
[14:41] This is I choose to rejoice in my lament.
[14:47] Paul's calling us to, like the psalmist, rejoice in the Lord while we weep.
[14:55] Trust in the Lord while we cry out in our blindness and confusion and our why, Lord, and our how long, O Lord, and give thanks to the Lord in the midst of our suffering, that he is with us, that his rod and staff will comfort us, that he prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies,
[15:23] and that his goodness and mercy and love will follow us all the days of our lives into our eternity in Christ, and that we will dwell in his house forever.
[15:36] Rejoice always.
[15:38] Pray continually.
[15:40] Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
[15:47] Even Sharon.
[15:48] Up you come.
[15:51] I'll move this out of the way.
[15:52] Give them a round.
[15:53] Yeah, I should have said that.
[15:54] Make them feel welcome.
[16:01] Have a seat.
[16:04] you're very welcome we are not too bad we're on track time wise i stuck to my time sort of uh you don't need to worry about any of that i will worry about the time uh let's just briefly thank you so much you know how much i appreciate you being the guinea pigs at the beginning of this series the first ones who i could then go to other people and say well neil and sharon are doing it so so thank you for doing that thank you for being the first why don't you begin just by introducing yourselves to people who don't know you.
[16:32] Speaker 2: Hello.
[16:35] I'm Sharon.
[16:37] Married to the lovely Neil for nearly 31 years.
[16:43] And there's too many giggles going on there already.
[16:47] We have two lovely boys, Andy and Johnny, and a very lovely daughter-in-law, Anna Yael.
[16:52] And God has really blessed us with our family.
[16:57] I've worked as a GP for over 20 years in a wee practice just outside Ballymena High
[17:04] and had a part-time job in a community mental health team as well.
[17:09] Speaker 3: And I'm Neil, originally an engineer, project manager, worked in telecoms for 25 years.
[17:17] We've been coming to Glen Abbey for, I don't know, since 1999, since Johnny was born.
[17:24] We've been involved in home groups, mainly Cloggin Lane, various other things.
[17:30] I was an elder for nine years.
[17:32] Sharon's currently involved in missions and facilitates Clare Support Group.
[17:37] Speaker 1: Brilliant.
[17:38] I'm amazed you had to look at notes there to work out when you started, what your job was.
[17:44] Right.
[17:45] We're going to take some time this morning to think about your story.
[17:48] And we're going to do that in chapters, as we talked about.
[17:51] chapter one is the longest in terms of time but it is the shortest in terms of the time we're going to take so so tell us really I suppose like probably what you'll describe as the straight line
[18:01] Speaker 2: of your life up to about 2017 would you do that for me yep um our life up to about august 2017 was pretty normal um we were raising our boys going to work involved in church just getting on with life as most of us probably have at some point or other and nothing really stressful other than the stresses involved and all of those things.
[18:30] We were really fortunate but we were also quite self-sufficient and good at just sorting our lives out for ourselves, our self-made lives if you like and again I imagine that's what a lot of us have experienced from time to time but in August our nice long straight road had a few twists and turns and speed bumps along the way.
[18:58] Speaker 1: So this is August 2017?
[18:59] Speaker 2: 2017.
[19:00] Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
[19:02] Before you get into that and before you tell me that, you obviously agreed that you would share your story for me as part of this.
[19:12] I can remember the look on your face when I asked you.
[19:15] I wouldn't say it was with wild enthusiasm.
[19:18] But tell me why you felt that you wanted to do this.
[19:24] Speaker 2: So there's one word that springs to mind.
[19:28] And even before Chris asked me, I knew it was coming.
[19:32] And the word in my mind is compelled.
[19:35] And I really, I do not like this.
[19:38] I don't like being up in the front.
[19:40] But I felt that God was just telling us we have to share our story.
[19:46] And there's a couple of reasons for that.
[19:49] somebody else Flo Millican shared her story in 2018 in the Soundtrack of Life series and for reasons that will become clear that was really important to me I didn't know it at the time
[20:02] but a couple years later I really needed that story and the other reason is this is what we've been hearing about stories we've all got one we need to learn how to share them now I wasn't wanting it to be up here in front of all of you to start off with but it's important that we tell what God has done in our lives and I just feel we've no choice.
[20:26] Speaker 1: Brilliant so it's Flo's fault.
[20:27] Flo's fault.
[20:28] Good to know.
[20:28] Now Sharon mentioned August 2017 take us there that's the beginning of chapter two I suppose take us there and talk us through a little bit of the time from there up to what about 2020, sort of COVID time?
[20:40] Speaker 3: Okay, so we'll start on the 23rd of August, 2017, which is our 23rd wedding anniversary.
[20:48] And I got a phone call in work from HR to say that there was a serious issue with one of the employees in my team.
[20:58] And to cut a long story short, basically it was a very serious issue and a very serious situation.
[21:05] And because I was his manager,
[21:07] and the buck stopped with me and I was in a position where I had to resign from work and resign from my job and then we had a chance encounter with somebody else who we sort of knew
[21:21] who offered me a job and I went to work there and that was not what it seemed didn't turn out the way that it should have done so again we found ourselves um for the second time in a in a very bizarre situation financially in a serious issue and and sort of lost okay sharon what's your
[21:44] Speaker 2: perspective on that time so around that time neil was having a meeting in town monday and i went in with him and i took my bible with me i was going to do a bit of bible study in a coffee shop which for me worked really well because there's less distractions in a coffee shop um and i was doing that and this yeah young woman came over to me and handed me a piece of paper i don't know if
[22:08] Speaker 1: there's a picture you sent me the picture coming up and she was an artist and she just sat in coffee
[22:16] Speaker 2: shops or places where she felt god was stirring her spirit to share things and she sent or she gave me this now I have to say it bawled my eyes out when she gave it to me but it just says life's roughest storms determine the strength of our anchor and then had a couple of verses underneath
[22:36] and I couldn't believe how relevant that felt at the time and we really felt God was walking with us and along this road I don't know that I knew how rough the storms were going to get but even now there was that verse kind of speaks into us Neil got this job that he went for and while it didn't work out God's words were still true for the next year or two
[23:07] Speaker 1: Neil talk us through to the end of that sort of time then so we were in a bit of a pickle
[23:13] Speaker 3: and I actually met someone else who was in a very similar pickle and very related to the job.
[23:20] So he was a guy called Mohammed and he's Lebanese and basically we decided to set up our own company in Lebanon, which seemed a good idea at the time.
[23:32] But we knew we could control our own ethics and our own practices and all the issues that we'd had previously.
[23:39] We could have something that was true to our beliefs.
[23:43] I had found a toll on my mental health very high at that stage.
[23:47] Through all experiences I had, I started to doubt my integrity, doubt the things that had happened.
[23:54] Had to take a sabbatical from eldership because I just couldn't function as an elder and a trustee.
[24:00] And Sharon by that stage was pretty stressed.
[24:03] Obviously, she's pretty stressed, married to me at the best of times, but she was starting to get stressed in her work.
[24:09] In 2019, then, in May, her dad died.
[24:13] after short illness, among other things, at 75.
[24:16] So that's sort of where we start the next stage.
[24:20] Speaker 1: So I suppose you come to that point and you're probably thinking, this is a sort of crucible period of time in our lives.
[24:29] When are we gonna get out the other side of this?
[24:31] We hopefully are gonna get out the other side of it soon.
[24:34] It doesn't quite work out that way, really.
[24:36] So do you wanna tell us then, obviously, we move on to 2020, to sort of the autumn of COVID, is that right?
[24:45] This is the way we talk about these things these days, autumn 2020.
[24:50] So begin us there, this is chapter three, this is the central chapter in a sense of the story, isn't that right?
[24:57] Yeah.
[24:59] Speaker 2: 2020, COVID arrived and work was difficult anyway,
[25:06] I was really busy and I was still looking out for new things to do and that's when I had got the extra job in the community mental health team which was really looking forward to
[25:18] and then we had lockdown changed how we all lived and worked and my job changed a lot as you all know if you ever tried to get a hold of a GP during lockdown and I was working in the COVID centre I was really stressed really tired, I wasn't sleeping really achy a bit grumpy a bit grumpy apparently
[25:44] Speaker 1: I can't imagine that
[25:47] Speaker 2: my back has been stuck in the house with him all the time that's what it was
[25:51] Speaker 1: sorry I can't imagine that
[25:55] Speaker 2: but I put it down to stress and I also thought my back was sore because I don't know if you remember doing that run of 5k for the NHS.
[26:05] Well, I thought I could do that.
[26:08] And I just thought that's why my back was sore because it was too old and past it for all that nonsense.
[26:13] But anyway, I was literally just plodding on trying to get through the day.
[26:19] Speaker 1: Neil, keep us going on that one.
[26:20] Speaker 3: So one morning, Sharon had gone to work.
[26:23] I was still lying in my bed, very busy.
[26:27] And I got this phone call and she goes, Neil, you need to come out into the driveway.
[26:31] I can't move.
[26:34] So she'd gone out to the car, loaded her doctor's bag in the back of the car and had literally stretched up to close the hatchback and her back just snapped in two or three places and she was just lying in a heap on the driveway.
[26:50] So that wasn't too good.
[26:52] She got a scan the next day.
[26:55] Basically the scan showed lots of issues, lots of fractures in her back and lots of other sinister stuff going on in there as well.
[27:05] She had some blood tests done.
[27:07] She had all sorts of issues with her liver and her kidney.
[27:12] Basically she needed to go to hospital straight away.
[27:16] Speaker 1: Tell us what things were like in those first few days then of that happening.
[27:23] Speaker 2: A bit of a blur to be honest wasn't used to being on that side of the fence for one and I just remember
[27:32] being really emotional really afraid feeling totally out of control very worried for Neil and the boys because I couldn't see them they weren't allowed into the hospital because it was covid and and god sent me angels there's no other word for it people who worked in the hospital people who were allowed to be there that i knew from home group or from church brought me pajamas
[28:01] brought me proper coffee brought me a hug a prayer cried a wee bit with me and those are the things I remember vividly.
[28:12] I can't remember a whole lot of the other stuff.
[28:14] And those were my beacons of open light in the middle of a really, really dark time.
[28:22] By the end of that first couple of days, I was told I had a blood cancer called myeloma.
[28:31] GPs don't need to know a lot about myeloma because hematologists know a lot about myeloma.
[28:37] So that kind of threw me.
[28:39] Didn't know where I was going with that but yeah that's where I was and then I moved to the city hospital to be looked after there.
[28:48] Speaker 1: Neil we hear a lot often of the story about the person in the midst of the thing we don't necessarily hear the person left at home or tell us about your perspective on that time and what you were going through in those days.
[29:00] Speaker 3: Very bizarre felt very alone because I was on my own Sharon had disappeared off into the Royal, spent two or three days on a trolley and then transferred to the city.
[29:14] I had no contact, weren't allowed any visitors.
[29:18] So what do you do?
[29:19] Obviously you Google, what on earth is multiple myeloma?
[29:24] And Google said it was a blood cancer of the bone marrow.
[29:27] There was no known cure and the average life expectancy was 18 months.
[29:33] Really wish I hadn't.
[29:35] So after a few days, Sharon got to the city and there was a small window where I was able to see her, go in and see her and meet her consultant.
[29:45] So I fully expected her consultant to just tell me what Google had told me.
[29:50] So I said, what's the story?
[29:52] And she went, oh, no, no, no, no.
[29:53] We can definitely treat her.
[29:56] She's definitely treatable.
[29:58] and I'm confident that she will respond favourably.
[30:02] So I'm sitting looking at Sharon there.
[30:04] She had all sorts of issues with her organs, all sorts of damage, fractures in her back and other things.
[30:11] But she started chemo that night.
[30:14] So she stayed in hospital in the city for the next three weeks.
[30:17] She couldn't walk because of her fractured back, but she was slowly getting better and responding with the chemo.
[30:23] So she was discharged after about three, three and a half weeks.
[30:28] she could barely walk to the car but got her home so at this stage because of my job situations it was easy enough for me to to furlough myself and job was able to look after at home but we literally could not go anywhere all we did was stay at home and go to the hospital now i lost count at 250 the number of hospital visits that we had during that time but how long was that for a nail over what
[30:57] Speaker 1: at a time?
[30:58] Speaker 3: Well, she was going three or four days a week.
[31:00] So I think it was, I stopped counting after about nine months.
[31:07] So she had compromised immunity.
[31:12] Myeloma is a cancer of the bone marrow.
[31:13] So she had no immunity to any infection at all, any disease, anything you catch, which is not great in a time of COVID, to be fair.
[31:23] So we had to just isolate ourselves, which meant that the boys couldn't live within us.
[31:29] So Johnny, our youngest, was at Queen's and had a student house.
[31:33] So he just had to stay at the student house, couldn't come home.
[31:38] Andy had to move out and live with the Craigs.
[31:41] So like, what a thing Johnny and Deborah did, taking Andy on when, was he engaged to Anna?
[31:48] I think he was engaged.
[31:50] But he had to go and live there.
[31:52] And instantly when Andy goes to live with you, your food bill doubles, your cleaning products bill doubles.
[32:01] And you know, they just did that.
[32:03] Unbelievable.
[32:05] But as I said, it's like we couldn't move from the house, whatever.
[32:09] So everything that came into the house, we had to wipe down every, you know, remember the days, I don't know if you had to wipe down your food, we had to wipe down shopping, mail, cards, you know, presents, the Boys, anybody that came into the house, we had to wipe it down because it was a very worrying time.
[32:30] Speaker 1: I'm trying to imagine what that time would have been like.
[32:33] So month after month after month of no...
[32:36] You'll talk about a little bit of schools of contact, but no real contact with the outside world, not with your own boys as well.
[32:43] Just me and me.
[32:44] Just you and me.
[32:46] It was really blessed.
[32:47] I'm trying to say this as kindly as I possibly can.
[32:51] So obviously a really, you sort of, Nate just described it very sort of matter of factly, but when you actually start to think about what that would have been like,
[33:03] and you've shared some of your mindset about that time, but I suppose let me bring you to a question that is at the heart of this series where we do these interviews over the next few weeks, and ask about what's your reflections on the difference during that time your faith in Jesus made, his word made, his Holy Spirit made, being part of this church family made.
[33:24] Maybe talk me through some of that because that's I suppose at the heart of our conversation this morning.
[33:32] Speaker 2: I suppose it's fair to say I was quite overwhelmed at the start of all this during my hospital time and then just being at home.
[33:42] I'm not an anxious person normally but I was very anxious about having cancer, about my life, about my treatment, whether I'd be able to walk again, about my family, all those things, if I'd be in pain, if I'd be able to go back to work, all of that kind of stuff.
[34:05] And I was grieving,
[34:06] grieving for the life that I'd had and thinking forward
[34:12] that what's my life going forward going to be like and as I've mentioned there were so many lovely people that walked through this stuff with me and because of the nature of our limited contact with people people sent texts messages video messages and encouraged me they cried with me
[34:36] I had some friends who phoned me and there was a colleague in work who had shared with me about
[34:45] Jesus being alpha and omega and it occurred to me that he was my alpha and omega it was like the brackets or the parenthesis on my life and they hadn't changed that was a lovely truth those things hadn't shrunk closer together and cancer didn't change that treatment wouldn't change it doctors
[35:11] couldn't change it I couldn't change it and that was a huge relief just to know that that's when Flo's words came back to me Jesus knew all the days in my life before I was born and nothing had changed that cancer hadn't and god wasn't surprised by what just happened so it was real
[35:36] weight off my shoulders to feel like i didn't need to do anything to keep those parentheses apart
[35:44] Speaker 1: brilliant neil uh you two are obviously different personalities wired slightly differently so how what was your response what were your feelings and and reaction and uh what were you learning through this time I suppose.
[35:57] Speaker 3: To be honest the word, Sharon talked about the word being compelled earlier on, for me the word was stunned.
[36:03] You know for everything else that had gone on before and then for all of this it was just, I mean let's face it, Covid was surreal for most of us even if it was normal and healthy.
[36:16] But we read together every day and the verses just seemed very apt and Sharon will talk a bit more about that in a minute but we quickly realised that you know all the plans that we had out the window it was simply just a case of relying and trusting in God each day
[36:32] you know just to get by as Mike Tyson famously said everybody has a plan until they get a punch in the mouth and you know we just felt we had got several by that stage so you know like I said
[36:48] cancer I mean loads of people have cancer we're not unique and we're not in any way trying to say were unique you know people go through all sorts of stuff but i suppose the uniqueness for us was to have it at a time of a pandemic and also to have a particular cancer which you know particularly gives you no resistance or immunity and there was lockdown there was wards closing there were
[37:08] Speaker 1: surgeries cancelled all that sort of stuff so let me dig in a wee bit more to then the impact of your faith Neil in the middle of this storm I suppose yeah um I think my faith was was huge for me I mean
[37:27] Speaker 3: for me to cope um I go to the worst case scenario and then try and sort of rationalize that and if I cope with that I sort of work my way back but God doesn't God doesn't put us in a situation that we can't bear or we can't see a way to get through.
[37:46] But it's not only a spiritual battle, and I think this is the key thing that I want to say.
[37:51] The response of our family and our friends and home group, so we were in Clock and Lane home group, but not just Clock and Lane home group, for Carrick home group as well, who adopted us during this,
[38:03] the response that those two home groups did there's such a large practical side to having faith you know in James chapter 2 it talks
[38:11] about faith without deeds being dead and we can certainly testify that the enormous effort that both home groups made was instrumental in helping us other friends built us an outside shelter at our house so that we could have a little lean-to so that people could come sit outside the house and talked to us through the window.
[38:34] And people came and brought meals and sat and had their meals with us and cards, as Sharon said, and coffee.
[38:41] It was a real demonstration of a practical outworking of faith and community and being there for people and people going out of their comfort zone to just literally come and contact us.
[38:54] Speaker 1: Sounds like an advert for home groups, but I'm not pushing that anymore.
[38:57] Speaker 3: Only certain home groups.
[39:01] Speaker 1: continue on where nil was there tell us a wee bit more from from your side of things
[39:07] Speaker 2: um like nil said we were pretty good at coping ourselves pretty self-sufficient but i think as you can see from the preceding sort of two or three years god had decided he needed to pull a few props away from under us our job security our financial security um and to try and make us more dependent on him and like you said Chris you're kind of thinking right that's enough stop now
[39:36] but I would have also been one to go to my worst case scenario and try and work my way back from it just didn't quite picture that I'd actually be in one at some point and as I've reflected this is not something I would have chosen you wouldn't choose a cancer diagnosis but it's definitely made me realise that life without Jesus is bleak it's hopeless
[40:08] my mum had given us this wee book some of you may know what's called Jesus Calling
[40:13] and there was one day I'd had a really busy day in the hospital I'd had chemo I'd had radio
[40:19] I had an MRI I was getting x-rays the OT was there I was wiped out and Neil was at home organizing um how i was going to get into the house again shower doors funny seats new hospital bed all that sort of stuff and um i was trying to adjust to being a 52 year old needing a carer
[40:47] um which was really hard for me to get my head around and then i read something out of this wee which I hope you don't mind if I share it with you.
[40:57] This was in November, so just before I got home.
[41:01] And it says, Grow strong in the light of my presence.
[41:05] Your weakness does not repel me.
[41:08] On the contrary, it attracts my power, which is always available to flow in a yielded heart.
[41:15] Do not condemn yourself for your constant need of help.
[41:19] Instead, come to me with your gaping neediness.
[41:23] let the light of my love fill you a yielded heart does not whine or rebel when the going gets rough
[41:30] it musters the courage to thank me even during hard times yielding yourself to my will is
[41:37] ultimately an act of trust in quietness and trust is your strength and those words gaping neediness really just spoke into where I felt I was at the time and I wasn't used to being in a place like that but it also prompted me to think about thankfulness which felt really bizarre and
[42:02] and the theme of my bible readings following on from then continue to have this theme of thankfulness and the bible app a day or two later then add the verses that you've spoken about today
[42:19] and I wrote in my journal that day again I'm not a journal writer but it really helped at the start when I was trying to process everything and this is what I wrote I'm glad that the preceding three years and particularly the last couple of months have brought Neil and I closer to each other and to God I still wouldn't have chosen what's happened but I'm grateful for the changes it has brought into our lives.
[42:46] It feels like we're going through a refining, character building and ultimately sanctifying process.
[42:53] And I can say our prayer life has gone like that since 2020.
[43:02] And we have so much to be thankful for that we just wouldn't have seen or experienced had it not been for being in that depth.
[43:14] Speaker 1: I talked at the end there about this isn't a choice between rejoicing or lamenting this is rejoicing in or lamenting I suppose you've spoken very positively about a lot of things I think there which is wonderful but has there been any really difficult times where you felt your relationship with God was very difficult the questions were too difficult to overcome you know what do you think there?
[43:46] Speaker 2: There were definitely days when I was sad and very angry felt very hopeless.
[43:53] Speaker 3: And you couldn't hoover either?
[43:55] Speaker 2: You couldn't what?
[43:55] I couldn't hoover.
[43:57] Got it.
[44:01] Those days aren't as like I don't have those days very much anymore.
[44:06] There are days when it's still hard to keep hand and stuff back over to God.
[44:10] And the better I've got physically, the harder that becomes again.
[44:15] You tend to resort back to, it's all right, God, I've got this wee thing myself.
[44:22] The middle of the night was probably the hardest time for me when I felt very vulnerable and just very anxious and very alone.
[44:32] And I cried a lot then.
[44:36] I just I think the thing for me is that tendency to drift and I don't want to have to go through another hard thing to go back to the closeness with God that I experienced and you know that ongoing Holy Spirit transformative work I want it to still be here even in the not so bad days so I guess that's where I find myself now compared to
[45:03] Speaker 1: compared to them yeah okay what sort of stuff have you been learning throughout this and even more recently as you continue to sort of continue to walk i suppose in a sense and continue to
[45:14] Speaker 3: reflect back on it as well and so the verse that's come up again for me time and time again first first peter five six and seven which is humble yourselves therefore under god's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
[45:32] there's two things this will go quickly is the first thing it just a lot of people know that cast your anxiety but before that it's humble yourselves and God has certainly humbled us whether we wanted to or not you know we have been totally humbled when he as Sharon says pulls everything out from under you and the second thing is it's always a verse I've struggled with about casting anxiety because I've struggled with anxiety for for my life so for all my life so
[46:00] just what we have learned is what Sharon said the closest to God to to just rely on what you've said you know it's not about lament or or or whatever it's it's it's literally just about casting those things to God and if you don't do it sometimes he'll he'll make you do it yeah okay what about
[46:18] Speaker 1: you've you've mentioned obviously the Jesus calling and the and these verses that that golden thread I feel like that I talked about as one of one of many things as I can understand maybe what you've been learning as well Sharon
[46:29] Speaker 2: there's a couple of things I'm just going to quickly read this there was a really hard thing I learnt
[46:37] again from this little book this hit me like a bullet between the eyes but it started off with give up the illusion that you deserve a problem free life I was like wow thanks God
[46:56] but it went on to say part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties this is a false hope as I told my disciples in this world you will have trouble
[47:07] here's the hope link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in heaven and that really from going from the no trouble free life to problem-free life in heaven that really just changed the the game for me
[47:30] Speaker 1: and how are going back to those verses then just as we begin to come to a close here so any learning of i've obviously talked about them anything you want to add to that from your
[47:39] Speaker 2: perspective i guess it's what you've said um it sounds a bit trite you know to be trying to be thankful in every situation and it can be false maybe if you just put your happy face on um
[47:57] but it changed my attitude and it stopped me dwelling on the negative and looking for the things that god had done be a better blood result or a message from a friend and getting through my stem cell transplant which happened in about four years ago this month which was daunting
[48:23] I've been thankful for the people that walked alongside us for our home group again if you're not in one, think about it but most of all I'm grateful for the new lease of spiritual life that we got
[48:37] Speaker 1: Brilliant, appreciate that Okay, you've talked about yourselves if you, I suppose, had control over what people were taking away from this this morning what you would want them to take away from your story what might be one or two of the lessons that you'd want them to take away?
[48:55] Speaker 2: I guess what we'd want you to think about is that we're just two ordinary people living our ordinary lives and then we had a bit of a left field thing thrown at us.
[49:09] We'd have been quite happy going on like that but we'd have missed out on so much that has happened because of a bad thing.
[49:19] we'd want you to be encouraged prayers are heard and answered we are a testament to that we wouldn't have got through this without people's prayers we'd want you to be encouraged to send people texts or messages if you know they're having a hard time because they made a lot of difference to us
[49:39] at the end of the day it's back to why we're here telling our story we're wanting to encourage you that your story is worth sharing as well we're just part of our family here and we want you to be encouraged by just what you've done for us but also to understand the privilege of living out our
[50:06] Speaker 1: faith in front of each other is a great thing of course and I didn't get into that if I'd had time these verses rejoice always pray continue to give thanks in all circumstances it's the plural you it's all of us together uh it's you know it's it's about us corporately not just about us individually so i think that's an important message needed anything for you to add as we close
[50:26] Speaker 3: yeah well i certainly agree with everything sharon said i think the key thing for me is that you know we've always had great teaching in in glen abbey and we've experienced that but what we've experienced is that born out in practice.
[50:41] You know, things that people have done for us have shown that the value of teaching is that people put it into practice and actually do that in their daily lives has been wonderful for us.
[50:53] And people have said to us that, oh, we could never cope the way you do or we could never react the way you do.
[50:58] But that's not how it works.
[51:01] It's sometimes just like a tornado.
[51:03] A tornado sweeps through you.
[51:05] You know, to use the Ballymena phrase, it doesn't matter how good your grip of the ground is.
[51:09] If a tornado goes through and, you know, lifts you up, you're just spinning around there.
[51:14] And that's the way we were.
[51:16] We were just out here.
[51:18] And you're just praying that God sets you down somewhere where there's people around you to look after you.
[51:22] And he sets you down in a safe place.
[51:25] And that's what we had.
[51:26] And that's what he did for us.
[51:28] And that's what he does for everyone.
[51:30] So it's not about how good we are coping.
[51:33] It's about how good God is.
[51:36] and how much God uses the people around us.
[51:40] God is faithful.
[51:42] Speaker 1: Thank you.
[51:44] Thank you for your time.
[51:45] Thank you for doing this.
[51:45] You're halfway through now.
[51:46] You've only got to do one more service.
[51:49] Before, as the band come back up, guys, you can come back up as I ask Sharon.
[51:53] Back in the last series on Soundtrack of Life, we always ask somebody who was being interviewed to choose the song that we'd use as a response and praise.
[52:00] So I'm asking you the same thing this morning.
[52:02] What are we about to sing together and why?
[52:04] Speaker 2: so we're going to sing the all sons and daughters song christ be all around me and another lovely lady suz bennett when i was first in hospital sent me a playlist
[52:19] and i was i had it in my headphones as i was lying in bed at night not sleeping having a really hard time i actually felt really unwell i was as frightened as i've ever been i thought I was maybe on my way out I really I really had no idea what was going on but just really scared and this song was playing and at the time it just made me feel totally enveloped
[52:45] in the love of God that Christ was all around me he was above me
[52:52] Speaker 3: oh we've got all this way nearly got there
[52:54] Speaker 1: sound you nearly got there.
[52:55] Speaker 2: Above me.
[52:58] Anyway, you get the gist.
[53:01] But there's more to the song than that.
[53:03] It's about living every moment in the light of Christ's sacrifice.
[53:08] And I hope that's what we've learned from this whole experience.
[53:13] Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
[53:14] Why don't we show appreciation?
[53:16] Thank you.
[53:16] Thank you.